Only if i HAD too

If i HAD to make everyone think i was insane... Well I asked my dad what he would do. And he said that if he HAD to make everyone think he was insane he would eat his Fecal matter. Now just the fact that he thought of something so disguising makes me question his sanity. Which i guess is the point. However i have a different stand point on it. I if i HAD to make people think i was insane I would go Sweeney Todd status on everyone. Randomly breaking out into songs while hiding a huge secrete that no sane person would understand. Imagine for a second if you were sitting in class and all of a sudden someone in your grade breaks out into song. Then takes the teacher away and you never see the teacher again, but had some great meat pies for lunch. Ya i would say that person was truly insane. However at this point I think my own father might truly be insane.

"Crazy"

Were I to pretend going mad, I would undoubtedly have fun. Seeing as this world preaches conformity with such conviction, the opportunity to be crazy would be refreshing and healthy. Yet doing so would be an art, for convincing insanity is not easy to pull off.

First, I would stop wearing clothes normally. Nothing drastic, just enough to isolate me from the rest of my fashion concious peers. Thing like Turtle necks that are too small, and blazers that are too big would kick off the change nicely. Overalls would also be a nice addition, seeing as no one wears them unless they are drunk or inbred in West Virginia. (no offence)

Second, I would stat bringing strange lunches to school. Uncooked bacon that I would seem suprised I was unalowed to grill at school, or slices of cellery that I would pull apart and eat strand by strand. Maybe I could even bring normal food, and simply eat is oddly. Bring Chicken Noodle Soup and put the ingrediantes: noodles, carrots, chicked, etc, into seperate containers before eating them.

Third, stares. Not normal school "space out" stares at the board, teacher, or that new girl who is pretty sharp, nah, leave those to the sane people. I will take the wild stares, the stares directed towards, perhaps, the cover of my American History textbook with a simultaneous humming of "O Canada", or maybe staring at the Apple logo on a Mac book, and tapping it constantly as if it were a broken button.

Fourth, this is the real piece du resistance. Schedule. Practicing Hockey at the outdoor ing from 4 Am to 8Am, Playing hopschooch with the elementary schoolers while they are at reces (atleast untill I get a restraining order", then a full english tea. This would be followed by making a trip to the flower store, buying a host of roses, then handing them out to people cross country skiing for 45 minuts. Each day I would also have to meet a series of quotas. Propose to one girl, and one dog. Give either Juniper or one of his friends a clearly handmade "citizen of the year" award every day. It is this final step that secures my insanity.

I hope this never happens to me!!

If I had returned from a summer trip to find that my father had passed away my first feeling would be extreme sadness.  I would be mad at myself after the initial shock wore off.  I would be mad if I left my father and he had passed away, even if it was unexpected.  I feel that my life would be greatly affected by me not being able to say goodbye.  I hope that never happens. After the death of my father, if my mother remarried to a low life who took over my fathers affairs and claimed his success I would be furious! First of I would be enraged with anger at my mother for remarrying so soon to such a loser.  I would first have to talk to my mother and try to convince her to leave this awful man.  With respect to my father, I would try to do everything I could to maintain his reputation and get his business back into the "real" family. I would make a plot to try to make this man look bad in front of the community and show everyone what he really was, a horrible. man!  In order to make this happen I would have to gain his trust, even though it would not be real and then expose to my mother first what he is really doing.  

If I wanted to make people believe I was insane, there are some things I can think of, even though I am kind of already a little crazy.  In order for people to truly believe that I was insane, I would have to have the people closest to me in life believe that I was insane.  First I would say things out of no where that don't have any relevancy or make any sense.  I would have to talk to myself and not perform the same hobbies I usually do.  Instead I would pick up some weird hobby like making a ton of bird-houses or something else that  I would never do.  The last step to making people believe I am crazy is to truly act insane.  I could do this by eating grass or running around all over the place.  This would draw a lot of attention and if I saw someone acting this way I would definitely think that they were insane.  Being very seclusive would also be a very important step in making people believe that I was insane.  

If I found out that one of my friends had been spying on me I would be confused and disturbed.  I would want to know how long they had been spying on me for and why they were doing it. The trust in that relationship would be completely destroyed and I would question everything that that person and I had experienced for real or fake.  The hardest part about that experience would be loosing a friend and also having that constant feeling of someone is watching me all of the time.  I would probably disconnect all communication with that person and be very conscious of people watching me.  I'm sure I would experience a sense of paranoia after that experience.  I would feel extremely violated and kind of creeped out after the whole spying situation.  

A New Lowlife in the Family?

If my mom chose to remarry after loosing her husband, I would most likely support her decision and attempt to accept the new guy. The only exception would be if the man began to act as if he were an identical stand-in for my father. If I saw my father’s job and such being taken over by the new man, I would probably be pretty pissed and start to investigate more. I’d probably feel hateful towards him for trying to replicate my father, and I’d also be suspicious about whether he was only with my mother to increase his own worth through taking over my father’s affairs. Initially I would say something to my mother and find her opinion on the whole matter. Eventually, and regardless of whether my mother approved, I would bring the issue up with the new guy. I would ask him why he felt it necessary to take over all of my father's affairs, most specifically, his money and his job. I would offer my assistance and express my intentions to handle my father's affairs, successes, and everything else. If the discussion proved unremitting and did not sway the asshole, I would immediately move to more drastic measures. Next would come legal threats, such as sueing the new man. If this proved futile, I would take the matter into my own hands, literally. I'd invent an ingenious way to murder the man, making sure I was not looked at as a suspect. The reason I would move to such intense consclusions would be out of complete and utter respect for my father. I would feel a need to honor his name and take revenge for him if his life was being mocked and tampered with by an insane lowlife. Even if I was caught and sent to prison, I'd feel that I had done my duty and carried out actions that honored my father. The only issue with this plan of attack would be the harm I would cause to my mother. If she truly loved the man, which I highly doubt she would, I wouldn't kill him. However, I would not sit back and watch him assume all of my father's positions. I would persuade him in other manners to resign from his post and allow me to take over. At the same time I would discuss the issue with my mom, and attempt to persuade her that her new husband was a complete floozy who only wished to take over my father's posessions. Either way I would follow a route that respected both of my parents and caused the most harm to the stand-in. I would honor my mother's wishes and my father's memory and take what action I saw fit.

So I'm kinda crazy...

Convincing someone else of your insanity would be an exciting, fun, and easy endeavor. There are so many non-normal things that classify someone as insane, that even were that person to act normal again, they would still be regarded as crazy. To be most effective, I would probably start off small. I'd begin to spend money on seemingly inconsequential things that didn't align at all with my personality, and I'd often squirrel it away into strange places with treasure maps leading me to it. I'd also add some strange twitches to my physical appearance. I'd also begin to be more lackadaisical about my personal hygiene and appearance. I would forgo showers, leave my hair in a mess, have bad breath, and sport wild red eyes. I would twitch and jerk at the smallest sounds, and do the same for some imaginary sounds. Then I would begin to talk to inanimate objects. At first I would only speak to them, as if they didn't respond, but then I would begin to have conversations with them. Anytime that I saw a lawn flamingo or gnome, I would squat down in front of it and go off in great length about the meaning of life, or the great depths of literature, until the concerned owner chased me away. I'd make sure that I would always appear disheveled and confused in front of my victim and I'd often act as if they didn't exist, or that if they did, they were not important, and my conversations with trees, plants, and dogs was much more interesting. I would often speak gibberish in public, and scratch myself in places deemed un-appropriate. Once the person was fairly convinced that I was insane, or at least travelling on that path I would begin to have long strange stretches of silence, and imitate the effects of schizophrenia as seen in "A Beautiful Mind". I would try my hardest to convince my friend that he or she wasn't real and neither was I, and I'd try to convince them that because of this we could fly, and do other impossible tasks, like lift buildings. I would jump out of short windows with feathers taped to my arms, and lift lego structures all day long. Though for a while this task could be quite fun and amusing, I am not sure what I would do after my friend was sure I was insane. I would hope that they did not consign me to an asylum, and that I would one day be able to convince them once again of my sanity.

Pre-Read Thoughts

What if you had the inclination that your stepfather murdered your real father? Well the what ifs for that question range substantially: what if you hated your father? what if you loved your stepfather? what if it was an accident? what if your mother put him up to it? what if this all happened years ago and you are just now coming home to find this mess, yet it's already been cleaned up? I'm going to say, inferring from the rest of the questions, that Hamlet loved his father, loves his mother, had a very happy family life before he departed, and although he's been gone, he's returned with enough grace time left that any undetermined business with his father's death and his mother's new marriage, can be uncovered and fixed. If it were me? Well then I'd try and prove that this new man in my mother's life is the reason that my father died. Proof is necessary, as to not hurt my mother again. No need to drag out the agony of her husband's death, again, if there is no need. Once I have the proof, however, that my stepfather is in fact the murderer, I get vengeance. I wouldn't use the court system, I would use my own determination and power to put my stepfather in his place. Of course, we are assuming, that I have a clique of friends that are at my side ready to battle. Start with subtle black mail, keep bringing things that should remind him of the murder, into his daily life, so that he begins to feel guilty. Once the guilt seems to be eating at him, start turning people against him. Find relations like employers or golf buddies (we are assuming this is in my time period, not Shakespeare's) and begin spreading word of him being a bad guy (not necessarily a murderer because I don't trust these common people not to go to the cops). Once he is completely ostracized, begin having people around him that are still close (for example my mother and myself) to begin questioning him on the murder, and really on the legitimacy of anything he does. If at this point, the guilt and seclusion doesn't force him either, into exile or into confession, I bring him out publicly on the count of my father's murder. At this point, with practically a whole community against him, it will be easy to punish him for his deed, and of course, force him out of the marriage with my mother. Punishment should be severe, after dealing with me and my personal rage (perhaps at some point before trial I take him into a dark alley with some of my friends and really give him something to think about), he'll end up going to jail, for a extremely long time. Hopefully the mental damage of what I've done, as well as the fact he isn't married, has no friends, has no more freedom...he'd get the message.

Dee, Cunningham, and Woolf

Jonathan Dee’s review “The Reanimators,” sparked a bug that got me thinking about The Hours and Mrs. Dalloway. Dee claims that part of the literary merit is creating and developing your own characters. He argues that it takes a certain skill to actually write and not copy the work of others. Although he rips on the overall “physco historic” novel and using real characters to basis novels off of, it seems that The Hours receives the most dignified writing for beings somewhat acceptable. Dee claims that Cunningham’s “appropriation of genuine historical figures…as characters in fiction is an act of imaginative boldness that through simple attrition readers of contemporary fiction have come to take entirely for granted”
Dee says that novels help “bridge the gulf between the knowable and the unknowable about human motives” and that it helps “transcend” and bringing closer contact with our natures than real life.” Just as Barnes proves in Flaubert’s Parrot, Cunningham is able to recreate that “books say because.” Cunningham dives into the depths of Woolf’s mind, which is ambitious, and in some opinions wrong, but he also develops his own characters. Although Clarissa Vaughn is based of a “form” of Mrs. Dalloway herself, Laura Brown is seems to be completely new and creative. However, this is where I stuck, does Dee accredited Mrs. Brown who is he critical of her. What is Dee saying in his review when talking about Laura Brown and how “it takes nothing away from greatness of Mrs. Dalloway to say that Cunningham’s depiction of Woolf’s struggles with that novel do not-cannot-transfix us thoroughly as does his depiction of pregnant, fragile Laura’s struggles to bake a simple birthday cake with the help of her son.”

For my essay I want to pick up where Dee leaves off, but explore how Cunningham succeeds in his novel through form and the essence of connectivity. His novel offers a more explicit example of modernism in action, and I think because he chose to emulate Woolf’s mind and reconstruct Mrs. Dalloway’s story that he can pull of the homage and level of intimacy in a unique way that is inventive. I believe that because of Cunningham’s style and form he can pull of a level of intimacy with Woolf and with his other characters. Cunningham brings his story together at the end, and because of his final connection between the characters