Jane's only vindicator?

Though Mr. Rochester is certainly no Mr. Darcy, I find him irresistibly charming in his own quirky right and truly a perfect match for Miss Eyre. Perhaps, what I believe sways the reader in Rochester's favor, is the way they talk to one another. Yes Rochester teases and even deceives Jane, but she does her fair share of manipulating the eccentric man; she seems to know exactly how to push his buttons and the appropriate method to calm his nerves. One example, though there are many, is when he is throwing a fit about her refusing to stay with him. He threatens violence if she does not stay (page 349) and though most women would be terrified by Rochester at this point, Jane is not and is calm enough to devise a plan to settle Rochester's passion: crying. Simple enough, but effective. Jane seems to wield a power, or perhaps charm, over Rochester; in fact, Rochester proposes on a number of occasions that Jane is a witch or an elf that has bewitched him.
The romance between the two grows steadily, according to Jane's perspective, yet when Rochester proposes, the reader feels rushed. Why the sudden need to marry her? Though Rochester's proclamations of true of love and what not are beautifully written, I couldn't help but feel as though all of this was quite sudden. Even Jane believes it to be a farce and challenges him! This is when we finally see that same passion from Jane we saw before in the Red Room; this is when Jane reiterates the importance of equality between the sexes that she has not seen from any of the males in this novel; this is when Rochester finally sees Jane—in all her passion and ardor and feminist beliefs. Finally Jane is reincarnated! Where has she been the entire novel?! After the episode in the Red Room it seemed as though she had nothing to challenge her thoughts and desires yet finally Rochester draws them out of her.
The one incident that truly drives me mad, however, is Rochester's deception. How dare he thrust marriage upon her when he has been deceiving her from the get-go? Of course after hearing his truly morally touching story and reasoning behind the imprisonment of his wife, we forgive him—and more importantly, so does Jane. He's lived a life he never deserved and only now, when he may have finally found his soul mate, is he trying to redefine it. We understand that and so does Jane.
And though all is forgiven between the lovers, Jane still feels the need to leave him. But how can we blame her? Is it so wrong that a woman should have pride in her principles? Jane believes in equality above any other right. When she was little she recognized the inequality between herself and John Reed and clearly the traumatizing childhood she had followed her through to adult hood and has made her the feminist she is now. Is it so wrong that when Rochester proclaims them as equals (page 294) and then tries slyly to convince Jane into becoming his mistress that she leaves? And though she may be wasting her only shot at true love, I think she recognizes that if she does not leave, she will never be Rochester's equal.
I love the idea of Rochester and Jane falling madly in love and running away from society's scorn; I love how perfectly their personalities clash and meld together; I love how finally, after so many chapters with Jane never truly finding another being that can equal her wit and genius, she finds her match. But to be honest, I love Jane's character more than the idea of this forlorn romance and I think Jane loves herself more as well.